What I Will Fight For
by Sexidebater
Summary: Hermione and Fred had a relationship during their final years at Hogwarts. These are Hermione's memories. I don't own Harry Potter.
I want you guys to know that I FUCKING (sorry for the language kiddies) HATE MYSELF for this. Like I've been holding back tears and berating myself for writing this. Somebody punch me, it would hurt less. This is what I'm doing instead of studying for finals. Again, somebody hit me and tell me to get back to work.
Enjoy your heart being torn out and stomped on. Happy 18th anniversary of the battle of Hogwarts.

"When this is all over, we're gonna run away and get married. Ron'll be upset, but he's a prat so it doesn't count." Fred whispered in my ear as we danced slowly at Bill's wedding. "Do you want it to be bigger or smaller than this one?"

"Mhm, smaller. I want it to be intimate. My parents don't have any brothers or sisters and I only have a grandma who is still alive. And then there's your family, and of course Harry, but I think he counts as family. And that's it. Maybe McGonagall. Actually, that ends up as a rather large wedding. All your extended family. That'll make up for my tiny family." I whispered back, swaying to the music.

"The minute we win; I'm getting down on one knee. You understand that right? Because when this is all over, people are going to need something to look forward to, so our wedding might be a lot bigger than you want." He replied, a smile crinkling his face.

I threw my head back and laughed, "I'm fine with that Fred Weasley. As long as you're standing at the end of the aisle I'm fine with ALMOST anything."

"Almost anything? I'm wounded! You still don't trust me do you Miss Granger?" he smiled, pretending to be offended.

"No, I trust you, just not George, and if the stories are true, Bill and Charlie. I can see them making the decorations come alive and sing like Peeves. Or them inviting Peeves." I replied, staring up at him with a smirk.

He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, and pressed his forehead against mine. "Are we going to follow any muggle traditions? I don't know what traditions you have."

"We'll figure it out before Molly commandeers the planning. In the meantime, start ring shopping mister."

"I already have one picked out," He whispered back, his smile widening.

I was beaming. I was ready to wake up to Fred every morning for the rest of my life. To have little red haired children with him. As many as he wanted. Every single one of them a trickster.

This, this right here. This is what is going to get me through the next few months, I thought to myself, enjoying my time in his arms, gently swaying to the music. Right before it all went to hell.

Important memories came back to me as Harry, Ron and I fled.

Right after Victor had asked me out to the Yule ball, Fred asked me out and was disappointed when I told him I already had a date. But when he found out who I was going with, it amused him to no end, because he knew that his brother was going to be pissed and jealous. He was the only one that I told, but he obviously told George, yet they kept it to themselves.

We shared a couple of dances at the Yule Ball, where Fred whispered in my ear that if it didn't work out with Victor, that he would gladly snatch me up. I laughed, almost not believing him, that was before I saw his face. His pleading eyes, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip. His emotions were clear on his face.

My breathing hitched and I laid my head back onto his shoulder, kissing his cheek in the process.

"That's a deal, though Victor and I are nothing more than friends you know." I whispered back.

Fred's grip on my waist tightened as he pulled me closer, "Well I look forward to taking you out soon Miss Granger." He said, with a smile in his voice.

And that was the start of my infatuation with Fred Weasley. He was infuriating, and I'm convinced that he was only that infuriating to mess with my head.

The next year and a half were filled with stolen kisses in the library, private study sessions. Often George would join us for those so they both could work in the quiet, making plans for their shop. I never asked where they got the money to open their shop, and they never told me. That was one of the few things where I turned a blind eye. I didn't want to know for just in case Mrs. Weasley ever asked.

Eventually it was going to come out that Fred and I were dating. It wasn't like we were actively keeping it a secret. We just didn't go out of our way to tell everyone. Ginny knew, but Ginny knew everything about my life, and I knew everything about her life. Ron and Harry never noticed, they were so oblivious, they wouldn't see a troll's backside until they walking into it face first.

I think a few people caught on, but it didn't become gossip. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil hadn't found out otherwise it would have been major gossip. They had asked me before about my love life, but I told them that it was not their business. They took that as I didn't have one and didn't want to admit to it.

The most important memories of this time though involved the foul beast Umbridge.

The common room was empty save for Fred, George, Lee and myself. It was nearing two in the morning.

Fred's hand was bloody from the inhumane punishment brought on by Umbridge. I gently placed it the bowl of Murtlap Essence that I had made for him. Lee and George were soaking their hands in identical bowls. Professor Sprout had ordered more Murtlap creatures, and was currently turning the other way whenever I came into the greenhouse to collect the tentacles for the essence. It was a popular remedy and I taught it to people in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw during DA meetings.

"Fred, stop instigating her," I whispered, staring at his hand. "She'll be less likely to punish you this way if you stop egging her on."

"Now, Miss Granger, you know that is impossible to do. It is my mission in life to challenge authority." He replied, a twinkle in his eye as I looked up.

"Fred, you're challenging the ministry this time. This is different." I replied, cocking my head to the side and sighing.

"Babe, we're going to be fine. George and I probably aren't going to stay for the rest of the year anyway. That vile woman is driving us off." He smiled.

"You're not going to finish the year? You're almost done!" I gasped, nearly tipping over the bowl.

Fred used his free hand to pull me towards him. He dipped his head so his lips were tickling mine, "Babe, don't worry. George and I don't need our NEWTS. We already have a shop picked out in Diagon Alley. You don't need NEWTS to own a shop. Now why don't you stop worrying and give me a kiss?"

Rolling my eyes, I closed the small gap and gave him a chaste kiss.

"Oh come on 'Mione you can do better than that," he smiled, pulling me in for a passionate kiss. I smiled against his lips, and was still smiling when I pulled away.

From behind us came a cough and a stifled laugh, "Get a room you two," George laughed.

Fred cocked his eyebrow at me, "You know, girls ARE allowed in the boys dormitory, we could take this upstairs. Up to you."

I bit my bottom lip, considering it. On one hand, I would be breaking the rules, but on the other hand, a lot of those rules were created by Umbridge, and therefore didn't count.

I nodded my head, and Fred's eyes widened. "You're serious? I wasn't expecting that, but let's go before you change your mind."

He grabbed my hand and stood up too quickly, knocking over the bowl of essence.

"Shit. George fix that." He said, dragging me to the boys dormitories and up the stairs.

Giggling, I heard George from behind us mumble "I'm not your bloody house elf you prat."

Soon, Fred's hands were all over me, our clothes being abandoned and tossed haphazardly to the floor. We fell into his bed and Fred waved his wand and placed some muffling spell on us. I didn't catch what it was but at that point I no longer cared.

That night with Fred was wonderful and everything I had hoped for and then some. George and Lee laughed at me as I snuck downstairs early in the morning and to my dorm before the gossip girls could wake up.

A few days later, he flew away on his broom stick setting off fireworks and leaving other tricks for Umbridge. When I retired to my room that evening, I found a rose (that was charmed to never wilt, I found out later) on my pillow. Of course, I thought it was going to be a gag gift.

But then I saw the note underneath, with my name written on it in golden ink.

 _My dearest Hermione Granger,_  
 _I hope that you are well and that you won't miss me too terribly after my escape from the hell hole that Hogwarts has become. It truly has gone to the dogs, after all, Professor Umbridge is a bitch. I look forward to seeing you this summer when you come to the burrow. Maybe you can visit me earlier, by yourself, in my flat. I'd love another night with you. Hopefully everything will be better by then. Thanks for not actually ratting me out to my mum. Don't forget to write._  
 _See you soon,_  
 _Fred Weasley_

 _P.S. George says hi_

I visited him that summer before sixth year. He pulled me into his bedroom and didn't let me leave for the rest of the night.

I visited a few more times after that, never leaving until the morning. My parents thought I was spending the night with Ginny. When the Weasleys went to Diagon Alley, I got caught by one of his stupid punching telescopes.

Obviously Fred felt bad and swore to make it up to me. Which he did.

When I erased my parents' memories, his flat was the first place I went to. I was hysterical and he held me until I tired myself out. He then tucked me into bed and held me through the night. He was what I needed and I knew my time with him was limited.

Leaving him at the wedding was one of the most difficult moments of my life.

But I had a mission that I had to complete. I had something to fight for. And that was a future with Fred. A future where we had a house, and loads of children, all wearing the infamous Weasley Sweaters. Christmases with the Weasley clan. Sunday dinners. The mischief that they would get in. And most importantly, the reprimanding letters to home from McGonagall.

This is what I would fight for.

This is what got me through the cold nights when I was on watch.

When my cot felt empty without him.

When Ron left us.

When Bellatrix tortured me, my body thrashing on the ground, screams filling the air. The thought of waking up to Fred's smiling face and brown eyes every morning for the rest of my life kept me sane as the pain rippled through my body. And my arm became ever scarred, I thought how Fred would love me even with the cursed word forever staining my flesh. He would love me no matter what. And that is what got me through it all.

Watching him come bursting through Arianna's portrait, I couldn't contain myself. I threw myself into his arms and buried my face in his chest.

"I've missed you so much," I whispered.

"I know you have love. He whispered back, his face buried in my hair, "God I love you Hermione. You ready to win?"

I nodded, my face still buried in his chest.

"Okay," He pulled away and held me by my shoulders. His eyes searched my face, and his smile widened, "You'll see you soon, when this is all over. I promise!"

And with that he ran into the battle, calling over his should, "I love you future Mrs. Weasley."

I called back, "I love you too Mr. Weasley."

Molly looked at me and cocked her eyebrow, putting the pieces together. She appraised me. "You take good care of my boy. You hear?"

I nodded my head, "Yes ma'am."

I stared at his lifeless body as Molly threw herself on top of him, sobbing. George stood there, shocked into silence. I felt nothing. His death still hadn't registered with me. I was waiting for him to sit up and say "What has you all worked up mom? I was just kidding." But he didn't. He didn't move. And I was numb. I felt Ron's eyes burning into the back on my head, his attempt at kissing me still burning my lips. He hadn't known, but caught on when I pushed him away.

"What gives? Everyone knows that you like me," He demanded as we stood there, basilisk fangs in our hands.

"No I don't Ronald. I love your brother. Fred. Get that through your thick head, and this isn't the time. Let's go!" I responded kindly, turning on my heel and marching out of the chamber.

And now Fred was dead. Gone from the world. I was dead on the inside. My will to fight was practically gone.

I went through the next few hours as if on autopilot. I carried the dead to the great hall, my eyes avoiding Fred's body. And Remus's. And Tonks'. And Colin's. Then Harry was laying in Hagrid's arms, supposedly dead.

Before I knew it, Voldemort's body was lying on the ground and the final Death Eaters were being rounded up and taken to Askaban. I knew I was helping, but I couldn't remember who I arrested, who I hexed and cursed, and who I had killed. I knew I had sent out green lights from my wand, but I couldn't remember who I sent them towards.

Everything went by in a blur. And then the hurt came.

It was the funeral, where we put Fred into the ground. I broke down and almost no one could figure out why except Molly, George, Lee and Ginny. Ron didn't glance at me. He was indifferent to my situation.

George wrapped his arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder. We fell to our knees, unable to support ourselves, but we could support each other, at least for a little bit.

We were broken, missing an important piece of ourselves.

Afterwards, when the last of the dirt was patted onto Fred's grave, George gave me a tiny box.

"He came to Hogwarts with this in his pocket. He was ready to propose. He was praying that he would get to propose at the end. You're all he wanted, and you completed him in the ways that obviously I couldn't. I'm sorry. I was looking forward to calling you my sister." George said tears freely streaming down his face. "I already know what it looks like, so I suggest you open it in private, so prying eyes won't see."

I nodded, and shoved the box into my pocket and stumbled away. Molly wrapped her arms around me and insisted that I come back to the burrow with her, saying that I was in no condition to be completely by myself.

Hours later, I was laying in the spare bed in Ginny's room. She was still downstairs to give me the privacy that I needed.

Sitting up, I dug the box out of my pocket, my hands shaking as I opened it. A note fell out, but I first stared at the ring.

It was a brilliant blood red ruby surrounded by white diamond accents on a gold band. It sparkled in the sunlight. I couldn't help myself, but I slid it on the ring finger of my left hand. It fit perfectly.

I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for what was to come from the note.

 _My love,_

 _If you're reading this, then that means that I am no longer alive. I hope that we won, and that we didn't suffer many losses. I hope that you love this ring. I searched for months, visiting wizard and muggle stores. You deserve nothing but the best. Time and time again, I was offered diamond rings that wouldn't suit you. I finally found a little antique stop in downtown London. It was full of odd muggle baubles and the likes. My father would have loved the place. And there in the glass case at the front sat this pretty little ring.  
Do you know what rubies represent? They represent love, passion, courage, and emotion. They were the most sought after gem by muggle kings and queens. It fit you perfectly. You are the most fearless, passionate, and lovely woman that I have ever and will ever meet. I wish that I could hold you one last time and tell you how much I love you. You deserve so much happiness that I was looking forward to giving to you._

 _I beg of you Hermione, move on. Find someone who will love you dearly and with all of his heart. Don't dwell on me too much. You deserve to be happy for the rest of your life. You will accomplish so much, I expect nothing less of you._

 _I love you with every fiber of my being. I look forward to seeing you again many, many, many years from now._

 _Forever yours,_

 _Fredrick Weasley_

I was sobbing again, my heart aching. It was loud this time and Harry barged in followed by Ginny. Seeing the letter on the bed, Ginny snatched it up and read through it, then she handed it to Harry and wrapped me in her arms.

"I can't move on Ginny. I just can't do it. I will never be able to get over him. I wanted it all with him. I needed it all with him." I sobbed, starting to hyperventilate.

"Let it all out Hermione, let it out. It's going to hurt a lot for a long time, probably forever. But eventually, you will be able to move on. I promise."

"Hermione, I never knew that you were seeing Fred. I always thought you were going out with Ron. I'm sorry." Harry said, sitting on her other side. He put his hand on my knee squeezing. He had no idea how to comfort crying girls, but he tried his best, letting Ginny do most of the work.

I wailed, "It isn't fair! I worked so hard to make it a better world for my children, children I was going to have with Fred. I sacrificed so much, I went through so much. But now there is no Fred. There is nothing. That life is what I fought for! I fought for our future together. It's not fair!"

Apparently they heard me downstairs. Months later, George described the scene to me. Telling me how everyone sat in silence, listening to my screams, the pain washing over them. Molly then started to cry, as did Fleur. And Percy followed soon after.

Many years later, Molly told me that my screams would stay with her forever. She considered me a daughter from that moment on, demanding that I come to Sunday dinner. In her eyes, I had married Fred, and was his wife, even though I had nothing to show for it except an engagement ring and a note proclaiming his love.

That was enough for her. But nowhere near enough for me.

I never moved on. It hurt too much to even think about moving on. I threw myself into my work, a smile plastered on my face at all times. I saved the house elves, the centaurs, the goblins. I taught the ministry about Muggles and rewrote "Hogwarts: A History." I lived a full but empty life, trying to fill the void that was left with busy work. At night, his lifeless body haunted my dreams right next to Bellatrix's torture.

10 years passed after the battle and losing Fred still hurt. I couldn't move onto a new romantic relationship.

Then 20 years. And it still hurt.

30 years. The pain was still there, as fresh as it was on that fateful night.

50 years.

70 years.

90 years. The pain had never stopped, and I was still alone.

But then it stopped hurting. As I took my final breath, the pain went away. His ring on my left hand, his love letters clutched in my other hand. I left this world, slipping from it as if it was no more than an old sweater, grown too large and threadbare with the years of something no longer needed.

And I was happy.


End file.
